Episode: 2 - The Jar Jar Binks Movie

The Jar Jar Binks Movie
Where we single-handedly turn one of Star Wars’ most hated characters into the greatest hero who’s ever lived a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

Episode Features

 * The goal: reclaim Jar Jar and make people love him using the trope The Fool Triumphant

Act 1:
Jar Jar is newly-elected senator fighting for Naboo veteran benefits. Palpatine is the only person who takes him seriously and helps him out in exchange for introducing the initiative to give Palpatine emergency executive powers to raise a Grand Army of the Republic.

Act 2:
Palpatine seizes power and executes Order 66. Jar Jar looks on in horror as his actions cause destruction, and is on the verge of taking his own life. He is approached by both sides: an invitation to join Palpatines inner circle and a rebel leader who asks him to be a double agent.

Dialog:
 * Jar Jar: Meesa not smart enough.
 * Rebel Leader: That’s why it has to be you.

Act 3:
Jar Jar acts as the court jester in the inner circle. Darth Vader is the only one who is mistrustful. Meanwhile, we see Vader’s first mission: quell a Gungan uprising. Jar Jar is able to give information that almost screws the mission, but Jar Jar allows his own people to die in return for not being made. Act 3 ends with the fall of the capital of Naboo and the Gungans captured or dead. Palpatine announces intention to come to Naboo personally to execute the remaining rebels. A plot hatches.

Act 4:
Jar Jar works with his rebel contacts to create a scheme, possibly involving the giant fish transport? The rebels are found out and the cell eradicated, except for Jar Jar and a droid companion. Darth Vader suspects Jar Jar.

Act 5:
Jar Jar decides to execute the plan himself. He’s a soldier, after all. He has Qui Gon's light saber tied to his belt, more memento than anything. Vader gives him one chance to leave, but Jar Jar draws Qui Gon's light saber for the first time and ignites it. Vader smacks it out of his hand. Jar Jar picks it back up and forces Vader to fight him, buying the rebels the time to escape with the droid, whose memory has been altered to eradicate Jar Jar.

Vader stabs Jar Jar, killing him.

Dialog: In the end, Darth Vader is the only one in the galaxy who knows the truth about Jar Jar's heroism. Jar Jar's lifeless body is cast into the waters of Naboo.
 * Jar Jar: I still see good in you, little Annie.
 * Vader: This is what good gets you! You failed!
 * Jar Jar: I did not fail. [Spaceship takes off, rescuing people]

End scene in a public square with an announcement that Senator Jar Jar, traitor to the rebellion, has died. The crowd cheers, yanking down a statue and burning his face.

F'nart

 * https://twitter.com/DreadTower/status/1033531870531612674/photo/1

Notable Quotes
Will Campos: “He’s a god damn hero!”

Will Campos: "That movie [Phantom Menace] was drunk driving all over all sorts of racial minefields."

Will Campos: "We’re going to double down on everything that makes the prequels great: Jar Jar. Trade Federation. Taxation. Politics."

Matt Arnold: "Well, Ikiru’s light saber is cancer."

Freddie Wong: "This is the trailer right here: Jar Jar alone in a cell. Voice over: 'Whassa make a hero?' "